Evenium’s tips for a disastrous event:
Your invitations have to be perfect. You need to spend time perfecting every last sentence even if it means sending the invitations out a few days late. There’s no point bothering with a ‘Save the date’ email beforehand giving a basic outline of the event. And is it really necessary to send out a reminder email the day before the event starts? Your guests are surely waiting impatiently for your event to start, and will all turn up on time without having to be reminded!
Whether it be about the size of the conference room, where to put the buffet table, or how many chairs to have, everyone has an opinion about organizzzzation! Why bother making logistical plans before you arrive on the day itself? You’ll be able to sort it all out on the day.
Long live paper lists and excel spreadsheets for checking in your guests! Why not assign groups of participants to different event organizers? Registering everyone takes time, but surely your guests won’t mind, after all everyone will get in in the end.
It doesn’t matter if your event starts a bit late, or if speeches go on too long. You can just cancel Q&A sessions and breaks. After all, the opportunity to ask questions and for guests to interact with one another isn’t really that important. They will understand and stay attentive.
You have chosen expert speakers, so just listen to them. It doesn’t matter if their presentations run over or if they go off topic, the important thing is to keep your participants quiet. Let your speakers expand on their interests or propose new ideas. No really, ignore questions from the room, it’s only the speakers who count.
Rest assured that your audience will be happy to listen you for hours on end and will remember every last detail of what you say: give as much detail as possible.
Don’t provide an internet connection and ban smartphones and tablets. Only a full day of presentations will get your message across. Everyone knows that they only disrupt things, and have no benefit whatsoever in terms of the sharing of information or meeting people. After all, people managed fine without them in the Middle Ages.
It’s a well known fact that that people go to events only to see people they bump into all the time. Nobody wants to meet new people and extend their network. Only invite people who you think will know one another. Don’t do anything to help networking, or help your participant find out who’s who… your guests will definitely end up talking amongst themselves!
Guests only turn up at events to gorge themselves on nibbles. Lure them in with a buffet: once they get together round tables, they will get to know one another naturally!
Whether it’s gone well or not, once the event is over, it would be pointless to communicate with your guests afterwards. Don’t stay in contact, don’t share any information. This would help participants do business with one another or stay in contact. Once it’s over, it’s OVER.